Each week a common theme emerges in my coaching. Often, I find myself responding to similar questions from most of my clients. I figured if it’s happening in my client base, there’s a good chance it is happening in the broader community as well. So, each week, I’ll be sharing these themes & resources with you. This week…
As we settle back into post-holiday, “new normal” life, the theme this week has been resentment.
Lots of us seemed to have a heavy, unsettling period between Thanksgiving and the New Year. Whether it was illness, depression, holiday stress, etc., many report feeling like the bottom dropped out over this period.
Now that the fog has cleared, many are starting to look back and ask, “what the heck was all that?” and resentment is starting to creep in.
People resenting their adult siblings for various boundaries held over the holidays.
Co-parents resenting the other for the way they handled the holidays with the kids.
Spouses resenting their partner for how “unengaged” (unaffected) they are with the pandemic…
resentment tricks us
The thing about Resentment is that it tricks us into believing that if “that other person” would just change their behavior to reflect our reality, we would be a lot happier.
The reality of resentment is that it is really just showing us what we wish we could be doing, too.
When we can recognize resentment as an invitation for us to join “that other person” in the activity we resent, we actually rise into our own true happiness, rather than requesting the other person to join us in our suffering.
It can be a hard pill to swallow, to put down the sword and not only let the other person off the hook- but THEN JOIN THEM in the behavior we have been condemning. But the relief that shift offers us is exponentially freeing because we release the anger and our suffering.
Are you feeling resentment in your life? What’s possible for you in a shift toward embracing resentment as an invitation?
All the love, and ease, your way