Feminine Phenom #6 goes to Michelle Obama
It’s the term most people automatically associate with Michelle, so you may assume this is about her support, encouragement, or grace.
But that would degrade her real super power.
See, First Lady was an identity bestowed upon her by her husband’s dreams, her husband’s pursuits, her husband’s success.
As a result, she found herself smack in the middle of the most powerful office on earth. All eyes were on her through the lens of her marriage.
Can you imagine how easy it would be to lose yourself to THAT gravitational pull? Being the wife of the most powerful man on earth?
As a driven, ambitious, successful woman herself, this had to come with some degree of marital competition or jealousy.
And this is where her super power that sets her apart comes in: SELF CARE.
In her book, Becoming, and her book tour that followed, Michelle has been open about her season of marital hatred toward her husband.
As a new mom, she had left a career she loved and was now “stuck at home” with her young kids. She watched her husband’s career escalate while she stayed home, alone, because her partner was gone more than half the time. She grew to resent him.
So much so that she hauled him into therapy- CERTAIN their counselor would back her up and help convince him to get himself together.
Except that didn’t happen.
Instead, their counselor helped her realize that she had given up control over her own happiness.
As women we do that sometimes, don’t we? Assign our partners complete responsibility over our happiness?
And this breakthrough changed the game for her. She explains:
“I was looking to my husband to make me happy. And I realized I’m responsible for my happiness. I’m responsible for how I prioritize my life. And I can’t be mad at him because he prioritizes his life differently and better.”
So when the Obamas took office, she said the FIRST thing she did was schedule out their priorities. She blocked their calendar for important family trips, events with the girls, her workout routines, time with her girlfriends, and all the other activities that made her feel alive.
Having all this in place safe guarded her personal identity as MICHELLE. As a result, she depended less on her husband to fulfill all her needs. She stood as her own ray of light.
And this is what helped them shine as the united Power Couple that captured the hearts of so many.
Two extraordinary people, one extraordinary relationship. 🙌